Wow Chad. Lookout Mountain is beautiful, romantic.
All the stars are so bright.
Yes I am.
Oh, you mean stars up there.
Yeah, they're alright.
But they don't have their own show.
Normally I wouldn't laugh at that,
but I guess I'm just a little nervous.
Well relax. I promised an unforgettable evening, didn't I?
Yeah, you did.
Well I'm a man of my word.
Oh, I'm sorry. I was just reading Grady's essay. It's frightening.
Remember how I said I thought I aced the essay?
I may have been wrong.
- And you worked ten minutes on that! - Oh, I know.
Why do I even try?
That woman hates everything we do.
Oh, I don't know. I think she's just-
Mean, bitter. And not in a fun way.
I was gonna say lonely.
I mean, people just don't get that mean and bitter on purpose.
Sonny, what are you talking about. She practices scowling in the mirror.
Oh please.
But my point is she's still scowling alone.
I mean she needs a scowl buddy.
Like who?
Someone nice and sweet and kind.
Someone who can turn that scowl into a frown
and that frown upside down
and, you know where this is going.
Does anybody have an antacid?
Or Marshall.
Off to the races, I'm going places
Might be a long shot, not gonna waste it
This is the big break and it's calling my name
So far, so great, get with it
At least that's how I see it
Having a dream is just the beginning
So far, so great, believe it
Can't take away this feeling
Taking a ride with chance on my side
Yeah, I can't wait
So far, so great
Sonny With a Chance S01E12 The Heartbreak Kid
Look at her over there!
I can't tell if she's eating her lunch or practicing voodoo.
You really think setting up Ms. Bitterman with Marshall
will make Bitterman happier?
Yes, I do. Because I know people.
oh, I'll proved it.
Just watch Marshall.
First, he's going to look over all the vegetables.
And will take some piece
But then he'll wind up going with French fries.
He'll look back over all the vegetables
And get some pie.
Ooh! Now do me, do me.
Okay, well first you're going to flip your hair.
When?
Oh my gosh! You're good!
Okay okay okay. So you know people.
But how are you gonna get those two together?
With this.
A magic salt shaker?
Hey Marshall.
You know what would really spice up your lunch?
Salt?
Yes! And a lunch buddy.
Sure, have a seat Sonny.
Actually, I was going to join Ms. Bitterman.
You should come sit with us!
Oh, Joy.
Oh, c'mon. It'll be fun!
No, that's her name. Joy.
Alright, I'll just get my stuff.
Good news Ms. Bitterman.
They got the rats out of the kitchen?
Not sure. But Marshall wants to join you for lunch.
Marshall, the guy who lives on fries and pie?
They were out of vegetables.
They're never out of vegetables, it's a choice.
Look at you two, maybe getting to know each other.
Maybe.
Okay, well that sounds like a lovely
invitation to join Ms. Bitterman for lunch.
There's a stain on your tie.
That's the pattern.
So you have a pattern of a stain?
I have a pattern of distain.
Well, you two enjoy your lunch.
And if you need anything I'll be way over there.
Great, they hate each other.
I guess I don't know people as well as I thought.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, Looks like love at first bite.
Aww. That salt shaker is magic!
Ahh, I love this sketch.
And I love wearing no pants!
Hey, have you guys noticed how happy
Ms. Bitterman's seemed since lunch?
Yeah.
Hey everyone, guess who's joining us for rehearsal.
Hey Ms. Bitterman!
Look at you, eating your veggies, gettin' all healthy.
Well, he's no good to me dead.
Oh hey, hey kids! Did you know
Ms. Bitterman used to be an actress?
Oh sto- When I was in the navy,
I did a one-woman production of
12 Angry Men aboard the U.S.S. Nims.
Aye-aye, captain.
At ease, sailor.
Does anyone else find this creepy?
It's not creepy, they're in love.
Okay people, let's take it from the top!
Places, places.
This is where I do my thing.
I'm Bauers McGregors
and welcome to Scotland's Top Model!
Today, I'm gonna show you how to wear a kilt!
Now some of you may say, "Away,
those are just for pretty legs and girls-
Cut! Cuuut!
I say cut.
Well then say "cut."?
Cut! Why are we cutting?
Why is Grady using a Scottish accent?
It's uh, called Scotland's Top Model.
Something's missing. Back me up here Marshall.
Well if you say something's missing, something's missing.
Aww, look how cute they are,
coming up with ideas and working together.
"You say cut. Uhh, I say cut. Something's missing."? Adorable.
It's something.
I know what it is.
I think it would be funnier if you were Italian.
But my name's Bauers McGregors.
Well, now your name is Anthony DelVaccio. I'm a genius!
Are you guys listening to this- She's changing my sketch!
And Marshall's not doing anything about it yet.
And since when can you do an Italian accent?
I unno. How-a hard can it-a be-a-a.
Apparently very hard!
Guys guys, settle down.
It's always like this when two people fall in love.
It's intense, it's passionate.
It's killing our comedy.
Okay fine, I'll go over there and talk to them,
because I know people.
And I know Sonny. Watch.
First she's going to go over to Marshall and Bitterman.
You mean like she just said she was gonna do?
I wasn't done.
Now she's gonna act all cute-sy.
And they're going to laugh, ... And it's not going to work.
And then she's gonna come over here and use her high voice and say:
"Everything's okay!"? But it won't be okay.
Everything's okay!
-But it's not. -No.
Bitterman's the worst.
That was the most agonizing rehearsal with no food break.
And no beauty break.
Not that I need it.
Not even a bathroom break.
Well why don't you go now.
I dunno. Moments pass. Wait no, wait wait-! Nope, gone.
Look, I'm sorry but it's not my fault.
Okay fine! Maybe it is.
But what do you want me to do? I can't just come between love.
I don't want you to come between it, I want you to crush it!
Snuff it out like a forest fire!
Wring it out like a dirty sponge until
every last disgusting drop of the affection oozes down the drain.
Um, that was my lunch.
Oh. Tuna... I'll be right back.
Look, I helped two lonely people find each other,
and I'm not gonna mess with that.
It's magical!
You're pathetical.
Hey everyone, guess what?
Joy here just wrote her very first comedy sketch!
Isn't she amazing?
Yes, get this:
You're going to play a very strange woman who owns a bait shop
who can never remember how many worms she puts in the carton.
Now here's the funny part, when she gets hungry- she eats them!
Okay, whatever, eating fake worms, it's no big deal.
Oh, they're not fake.
Now it's funny Ms. Bitterman!
Sonny, that was terrific, you know£¬you really sold it.
I wonder if you could do that with an Italian accent!
Listen, you write it, I eat it!
So funny!
We are so breaking them up!
Oh sweet gummy worms.
I just realized I don't have time to grade all these papers.
Well then maybe you should focus on one thing at a time.
You're right!
I've got a show to direct!
A's for everyone again!
I shall see you on the set!
This is horrible!
I'd never thought I'd say this, but I am tired of getting A's.
Yeah, I don't even feel like I'm learning anything anymore.
I mean, before it was my fault,
but now, it her fault.
I mean sure we're all doing great in school, but if I
cared about school, I wouldn't be in show business.
Well if my plan works, we'll all be failing school in no time.
Operation: Breakup is now underway.
Tawni and I will target Bitterman, you two target Marshall.
If you get caught, eat the instructions, got any questions?
Oh, um, Sonny?
Yes Grady?
Well, um, what happens if I've already eaten lunch
so I'm kind of full. Do I still have to eat the instructions?
Yes.
Well, can you put the instructions on cake?
No!
Cookies?
No! Now go, go, go!
Do you wanna go get some cake?
And cookies! Let's go!
Oh-oh! I'm giving that joke an A+!
What do you want?
Oh, well, we were just cleaning out our dressing room
when we came across a picture of Marshall
that we thought you might like to have.
Oh! Thank you so very much- Oh now who's that?
Marshall's mother.
Oh, didn't you know? He still lives with his mommy.
That's never a good thing right? A grown man living with his mommy.
Oh, well, it is a little, you know-
But you know what, I shouldn't complain I really shouldn't because
Look who I live with- My sixteen little kitty cats
This one's Milly isn't she cute
this one's Bruno
and this is Daventhorth, right?
-and this is Mrs. Daventhorth -Awesome.
and this is Biscotti and his little mommy, her name is Pricilla-
Hey, Marshall!
Wanna know a secret?
Ohh, I love secrets.
What do ya got?
Ms. Bitterman has some really weird feet.
How weird?
Oh oh oh, you'll find out once you see her in these puppies, oh!
Righty, lefty!
Not exactly the feet you're expecting from a woman you love.
Grady, I'm really glad you told me that.
I guess it's "Adios" to weird feet, huh?
No, now I just don't feel so bad about showing her these.
Is that thing on the side of your foot considered a toe?
It's got a ring on it, doesn't it?
So much for Operation: Breakup.
More like Operation: Throw up!
Why are you the one that's all barfy?
I'm the one that has to eat worms.
Well I thought you said you know people.
I do! Watch, I'll prove it again.
Just watch Chad over there.
First he's going to pick up his spoon.
And look at his own reflection.
He's going to like what he sees.
And if I know that look, he's going to take out his cell
and break up with the girl that's right over there.
Oh, please.
Oh, no. Just wait for it.
And there she blows.
Oh my gosh, I just got the best idea!
So did I.
I'm gonna try to be rebound guy.
Wait up! Nico wants to make it all better!
that is the last time I date twins.
Chad, you are the most self-centered,
cold-hearted, soul-less person I know.
Thank you. What do you want from me?
I need you to help me break up Bitterman and Marshall.
Ah, well, I am on a roll. What's their numbers?
You can't text them, they're grown-ups.
They don't know how.
Okay, well, then you and I are
going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
What? I'm not going to Lookout Mountain with you,
that's a date place.
-Do you want them broken up? -Yes.
Pick you up at 8.
Wow Chad. Lookout Mountain is beautiful, romantic.
All the stars are so bright.
Yes I am.
Oh, you mean stars up there.
Yeah, they're alright.
But they don't have their own show.
Normally I wouldn't laugh at that,
but I guess I'm just a little nervous.
Well relax. I promised an unforgettable evening, didn't I?
Yeah, you did.
Well I'm a man of my word.
What are you doing here, this is the wrong car.
Wait a minute, you know Bigfoot?
Yeah, so do you.
Hey Sonny!
What is going on here...
It's all part of the plan.
Yeah, Grady and I are in on it.
Where's Grady?
Hey Sonny!
How is this supposed to break up Bitterman and Marshall?
It's all in the script.
What script?
Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls-
Bigfoot gets the girl. It's a classic!
Oh, my gosh.
This is your plan?
This isn't real! This is a show!
Sonny! Sometimes life imitates heart!
And this piece of heart is about a couple
who takes a drive up to Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening-
Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out of the woods and scares 'em!
And the guy gets so freaked out he runs away.
And that gets the girl to break up with him.
Exactly!
Oh my gosh! That is the worst plan
I've ever heard from the worst show I've never seen!
Oh, well here comes the love birds
so unless you like the chewy taste of worms-
Nico put your hat back on.
Marshall this is such a beautiful spot.
It was Chad's idea.
He even gave me a map of where to park the car.
Romantic, isn't it?
I'll say.
This is never going to work.
Yeah how do you know?
Because I know people!
Yeah I know people too!
Oh yeah, well I know 'em better.
Watch: Marshall's gonna put his arm around her.
Oh yeah? Well now he's about to use some breath spray.
Yeah, well, now he's gonna try and kiss her.
Wrong. 'Cuz here comes Bigfoot.
Bigfoot!
Excuse me?
Bigfoot!
You said you would never mention my large foot!
No, no! Bigfoot!
I heard you the first time, you mama's boy!
Oh-oh, is that where we're going?
Well you started it, Mr. side toe with a ring no less!
At least I'm not a crazy cat lady!
I told you it would work!
Crazy cat lady? You said you liked cats!
I was talking about the musical.
I can't let this happen.
What, whoa, wait, where you going?
Marshall, I don't think that you and I are- Bigfoot!
That's what I was trying to say, Bigfoot, not big feet! Bigfoot!
Watch your crazy cat lady now.
Oh, hello Sonny, how are you today?
You knocked on the wrong window, Mr. Bigfoot!
I'm the only Bigfoot in these woods, buddy!
You know that's not actually Bigfoot, right?
That's Nico and Grady!
Yeah I know that, but she doesn't know that.
Let's give her another minute. She's on a roll.
So, I guess you probably figured out
we were trying to break you up, huh.
Sonny, I've been working with you kids a long time
there's not a lot you can do to fool me.
I don't know, I'm still really sorry.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
all you did was bring me and Joy closer.
Look at her.
She's beating up Bigfoot for me.
I've never been more attracted to a woman before in my life.
Yeah, too much information.
It's not that we don't want you to be happy, it's just that
I don't know,
we just don't want Bitterman to be so involved in the show.
Alright, fair enough.
I'll talk to her.
Maybe you should talk to her.
I must have dozed off.
Oh look, a new purse!
Drive, drive!
Seatbelts!
Oh, Nico, hold my new purse.
And for the record, this is exactly how the episode ended!
Wait, wait! I can't get Grady's seatbelt!
We gotta go!
Just drive, just drive!
Got it!
Boys, I'm sorry I laid into you with that log.
And so to make it up to you, I'm going to give you a little treat.
I'm going to show you some of the highlights from my performance
of Twelve Angry Men-
the Stars and Stripes called it a cure to armed forces!
I am so angry!
I am also angry.
...angry!
I liked it better when she was beating us with the log.
I've never been more angry.
It was less painful.
I've never been more angry.